My Current Diagnosis for 2016

If you've been following my blog, you might notice, what I'd consider as a writer, some inconsistencies. Basically, I talk about my symptoms, but my diagnoses have changed over the last year or so. For example, if you go back to May 2015, I claim to have Systemic Lupus Erythmatosis...and that's because in 2015, that was my diagnosis. Shit, that's part of the reason I started The Purple Moth.

However, my current doctor who has been incredibly proactive, has explained that she does not believe my condition to have to do with autoimmunity. Which is entirely possible.

In my most recent post, titled It Gets Better, I explain the most recent discoveries my doctor has made involving anemia and depression, along with the amount of time I've lived with anemia and spinal deformities.

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I wanted to clarify what my current conditions are, if one were to read my chart:

• Anemia
• Scoliosis
• Anxiety/PTSD
• Depression
• Fibromyalgia

I'm honestly not sure whether I have Fibro or not. I definitely have lots of the symptoms, but whether I actually have it or if I just have negative effects from prolonged anemia is uncertain. It's something I'll definitely need to talk to Dr. S. about this month, anyway. My first doctor at my current clinic diagnosed me with Fibro and it was never redacted from the chart. So we'll see.

At any rate, I'm so happy to be getting good treatment this year. I sincerely hope that everybody reading gets equally good treatment from their doctors and medical staff. It's not always easy. Sometimes it downright sucks. So my thoughts are with all'y'all.

If you'd like to share your own diagnosis/es, or your experiences with doctors/staff, hit me up at NikeNicholson@gmail.com. The Purple Moth loves to hear from others, and I'd love to feature you.

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It Gets Better

A couple months ago in late 2015, my doctor explained that I clearly have depression. She has been awesome in working with me to figure out the root. It only took a month before we nailed it on the head:

Essentially, I've been living with chronic back pain due to scoliosis for 7 years. I have also have chronic fatigue for 7 years, but I didn't understand why until recently when my new doc pulled up the labs she ordered and noticed that I was severely anemic with a lack of vitamin D as well.

I've had a couple doctors say that I'm anemic. But they just said "you're anemic, eat foods with iron" and that was that. I had no idea how severely my health had deteriorated due to this untreated anemia. I didn't have the slightest clue that what I was dealing with was significant as it was.

My doctor put me on iron supplements and vitamin D. My chronic fatigue was finally able to be treated. Some of my symptoms actually started disappearing. I had been told I have Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis...I'd been put on SSRIs, heavy opiates, benzos...and what helped the most...

...was vitamins. 2 very simple, very inexpensive vitamins.

In a way, I'm furious. Anemia has showed up on every one of my labs since I was 13. That means that every doctor (until this one) I've had since 2003/2004 has failed to explain that this was actually a serious thing, that anemia has real consequences if left untreated. I've had chronic fatigue for 7 years, but I've had severe, debilitating on-and-off fatigue for 12 years. It feels completely unacceptable.

Evidently, my anemia was the cause of my depression. It added to my anxiety. It created insane symptoms of pain and fatigue that were just awful. And now I have vitamins...and I can function again.

It's truly amazing. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't met my current doctor. If I hadn't met her, I'd still have opiates and benzodiazapines and muscle relaxers shoved down my throat. I'd still be having all these unnecessary tests run, and crazy diagnoses that are really mis-diagnoses.

So, to the people with depression who aren't satisfied with the medical attention they're receiving: PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING STOP SEARCHING. There really are answers. I couldn't even believe it when I got an answer. I never thought I would, but I did. I know other people who have had similar experiences and were totally blown away when they found out that there was something they could do.

And remember that those feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, sadness...those are symptoms. And symptoms can be treated. 

When you look at your depression symptoms for what they are - symptoms, and not just negative emotions that you have to feel - you can more easily seek help and see depression for what it is. (A legit medical condition.) And you so are not alone in this endeavor! Talk to me, talk to a stranger, talk to a friend, talk to a counselor...anyone. But especially talk to a doctor.

You aren't alone, and you don't have to give up. It really does get better.

And if necessary, you can always ask for prescription cats.

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DIARY: The doctor's back and she's ready to rock!

I would describe my doctor as an absolute doll of a woman. "Dr. S" is this gorgeous, young woman from India who has a traditional marital nose stud and wears rich, dark eye liner. She is kind, beautiful, intelligent, very good at her job, and is consistently respectful. When she smiles, the entire room simply radiates. It's like sitting in front of a space heater! She's just so warm and delightful!

Now, picture me, doctorless for like 4 months while Dr. S is on maternity leave, bonding with her little baby girl. Although I'm ecstatic for Dr. S, those months gradually got worse and worse. Irregular sleep patterns, insomnia, chronic back pain...oh, you know. Those things that are just fucking terrible.

Well, today, I was able to see Dr. S and she did so much more than I ever could have hoped for.

• Without me saying a word, she sensed that I was depressed (and was 110% correct) and put me on a non-SSRI (I can't take them) anti-depressant which doubled as a sleep aid. And it's not a controlled substance, so that's awesome
• Per my request, she set me up with a counselor
• She also set me up with a physical therapist...
• ...and a psychiatrist in case I ever needed to go back on my anxiety medication or any other serious medications.
• She read my labs and diagnosed me (again) as anemic with iron and vitamin D deficiencies and promptly prescribed vitamins that my insurance would cover
• She gave me a flu shot
• Lastly, she hooked me up with some anus cream for my stupid hemorrhoid

What a day! It took some running around, peeing in cups and waiting at the pharmacy, but all in all, it was a good day.

It's always bittersweet when I have my labs examined. I'm still, technically, undiagnosed. I'm always happy to know that I'm not cancerous, diabetic, etc. But then there are still no answers. Y'know?

Either way, I'm grateful that something came up on the labs that's easily treated. And these conditions are likely mostly contributing to my epic fatigue. So, here we go! Fighting fatigue one day at a time!

How much do YOU know about autoimmune diseases?

In my latest quiz called “How Much Do You Know About Autoimmune Diseases?” as seen on Playbuzz, you can test yourself to see whether you're chronically clueless, chronically curious, chronically conscious or chronically capital! If you're also struggling to raise awareness, particularly with friends or family, then show them this quiz and tell'em to have a go at it. It's educational and factual with helpful links and good info. Plus, pretty pictures!

Enjoy!

Chronic Illness Bingo!

We've all been there...dealing with people who decide that instead possessing a natural and completely understandable ignorance, they'll instead wield stupidity like a troll-knight from Suckalot.

"Taste the steel of my blade of idiocy and stuff I just made up to be an asshole!"
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But now, we can vent our frustrations with Chronic Illness Bingo! This is Susie, the beautiful gal from Pins and Procrastination – an awesome DIY blog with hints of fun chronic illness content. Susie has created “Chronic Illness Bingo,” and will also be joining us shortly for an interview about her condition, along with the amazing creation of her blog!

Did you get a bingo? I did! 

How many bingos did you get? Which phrase or question listed by Susie do you dislike hearing the most? Send me a message and let me know - tell me how playing this game of bingo made you feel, and tell me about your experiences of having to respond to things like this.

Message me at NikeNicholson@gmail.com and let me know!

See you, my chronic cats!

5 years since my scoliosis Dx - Where I've started and where I am now

I can't believe it's been five years since my scoliosis diagnosis. Unfortunately, the diagnosis was rocky. My spinal condition was determined by a chiropractor. Chiropractic care, while helpful to many people, tends to be looked down upon by some doctors. Dr. Thomas Ballantine from Harvard Medical School puts it simply:

“The confrontation between medicine and chiropractic [...] is more in the nature of an effort by an informed group of individuals to protect the public from fraudulent health claims and practices.”

I created this comic in September, 2010 at the age of 19 when I was first diagnosed with scoliosis. Humor has been my favorite coping mechanism.

However, while chiropractic cannot serve as a cure but rather a treatment for back and neck pain, chiropractors are forced to undergo insanely stringent classes and training before they can ever actually practice chiropractic methods. Point being, they can be helpful in determining spinal conditions and addressing various methods of treatment. Without a chiropractor, I wouldn't have known (at least not anytime soon!)

During my first visit with my chiropractor, he told me to walk down the hallway and pointed out to my then-boyfriend that I had scoliosis. My boyfriend and I asked how he could tell, and he pointed out that one of my feet dragged on the ground harder than the other. He explained that my hips were uneven, and that's why one of my footsteps was heavier. A few minutes later, I was presented with these x-rays as proof that he was correct.

Unfortunately, doctors didn't accept these x-rays. An FNP at my college ordered x-rays for me that would be medically acceptable. I did them right away. The doctors overlooking my x-rays told the FNP that my spine was basically smushed up against my muscles, causing them to spasm. (I still don't know how true this is. They were not aware of my autoimmune disease, as it had not been uncovered yet. So that particular diagnosis could be incorrect.) I was prescribed muscle relaxers.

Though my x-rays show a clear, visual curvature of the spine, they were not considered medically sound and had to be retaken, only to be promptly lost. So frustrate, much typical, wow!

When I got a primary care physician, I learned that my x-rays had been lost. Just...lost. I don't even know how. My PCP didn't care anyway; he did one series of blood tests, took no heed to check out my spine, and misdiagnosed me. I got a new PCP, but I could only see him every 3 to 6 months which was not acceptable after 2 years of not being able to sit down and discuss my problems. I got a new PCP, who finally ordered a third set of x-rays. Just my luck, she's on maternity leave, but at least she's been good on her word and her efforts have thus far proven fruitful.

Now I need my current PCP to analyze blood work and look at my new x-rays which will happen in November. (Booooo...)

Either way, it's been an insane (and sometimes very painful) five years, and I'm still not entirely done getting diagnosed!

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in a nutshell

Deviantart's very talented artist JellyVampire knows all too well the struggle of dealing with those mornings. They also unintentionally (but brilliantly) happened to capture Chronic Fatigue Syndrome beautifully!

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